Observations about Spain...

Observations about Spain:
• No one smiles or makes jokes in public. That’s when you know Americans are near: if you hear people acting silly in public.
• Fashion is way more important than comfort. Wearing stilettos on 700-year-old cobblestone roads is commonplace, whereas tennis shoes are considered fashion suicide.
• The diet here consists of wine, beer, pastries, white bread, ice cream, oil, pig products, and cigarettes. No one exercises. And yet everyone is skinny and lives to be 100.
• Mullets are popular. Gross.
• PETA hasn’t made its way over here yet, so all the old ladies wear gigantic fur coats. Even when it’s 40 degrees.
• Women wear their shorts and miniskirts in the dead of winter, but it’s ok because they wear stockings with them, so they don’t get cold.
• No one knows what romaine lettuce looks like.
• The only way to cook is with olive oil. Even if it’s rice. Or a head of cauliflower.
• Stores specialize too much. I have passed stores that sell ink cartridges for printers. And only ink cartridges. But not printers.
• It rarely snows in Madrid, so when it does the airport closes even for a light dusting and people talk about the “blizzard” for the next month.
• People live at home until their mid-thirties in order to start their career before committing themselves to a spouse and family. Most women become pregnant after the age 35, which is when pregnancy in the US can be considered “high-risk.”
• Dogs rarely have leashes when they go for walks. But they never run away. And it’s inappropriate to give loving affection to pets. Their owners tell you to stop hugging and playing with them because they’re “just dogs.”